Global Warming is a Part of Natural Selection

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Followers of Darwin, followers of evolution, do not fear global warming. It is all a part of natural selection, survival of the fittest, it is a part of our next step in evolution. You see, the earth is simply dealing with the pests that have laid waste to it’s lovely rainforests, polluted it’s air and used all of it’s oil. Stand proud and know that your time has come. You will soon witness the next step in mankind’s evolutionary voyage.

Rubbish you say? We have evolved to this wasteful and useless state so we are simply doing what fate wishes for us to do. Do not be upset when you see your fellow man driving his 5 mpg gas hog. Rejoice! For he has simply evolved that way. Don’t waste your time chaining yourself to a tree–the tree is simply not strong enough and will fall to the greater specie that is man.

We have to get over this little planet called earth. After all, out of the millions of years of volcanoes, hurricanes, tornadoes and asteroids it will be the SUV that puts it out of it’s misery. Aren’t we simply amazing? To think that we are capable of completely destroying the earth by burning gas? We better pick up the pace because those cows’ flatulence may beat us to it! I think all the Darwinians out there should stop worrying so much. We’re just doing as nature intends.

So from this day forth hold your head up high and be proud of your carbon footprint. Little old you is single handily destroying this planet. The temperature of the Earth has gone up and down over the years, even without us here, but don’t tell anyone that. That way, we can take all the credit, take away everyone’s Hummers, make them have to plug in their cars, and most importantly of all, think that our insignificant affect on this planet is much, much stronger than the little old sun up there.

*Just a small note, has some foul language but it’s a classic.

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Tags: Climate Change Darwinism Evolution Global Warming